Thappad – The important question is the need of the hour: Taapsee Pannu
“Just a slap, so much has to be tolerated in marriage.”
“It is so high in a husband-wife relationship.”
“In marriage, a woman has to tolerate a little.”
“Men are hot blooded, slapped in anger, you are a woman, tolerate to save your relationship.”
“Just a slap, a small thing, seeing you will convince you.”
When women want to share their grief and suffering
How many times have we heard these lines around us, in our home family. Sometimes for her mother, sometimes for her sister, sometimes for her sister-in-law, sometimes for her aunt. When women want to share their grief and suffering with others after domestic violence, they are given similar advice.
The advice is that the husband has beaten him. Bear a little and save your marriage relationship. Lakhs of women in the country are misled in the name of saving relationships. Women who are beaten by their husbands daily are advised to tolerate a little so that the relationship is saved. For the dark circles of eyes, swelling on the mouth, scattered hair, when women ask why violence has happened to them, they are taught to strip that your husband is a man and men are like that. But who gave the men the right to beat, how can they raise their hands on their spouse? Taapsee Pannu and Anubhav Sinha’s new film- Slap is seen asking the same question.
In the film’s trailer, when Taapsee Pannu asks angrily in his eyes, ‘Why even a slap can not kill’, then we as the audience have no answer. After a slap, the protagonist Tapsi tries to convince Pannu, he also has tears in his eyes, but Tapsee keeps on questioning – why even a slap, cannot kill. The film’s heroine rebels when her partner is slapped. Confused slams his bed. Repeatedly answers lawyers’ questions – cannot kill, not even a slap. This is the biggest beauty of the trailer. Bollywood films made on social issues have the same problem. These films simply touch the issue. But the trailer of the slap seems to stand the test. The question in the film is not just about domestic violence but the question has been raised whether slapping a partner is a small thing?
Did you ask this question in your home
It is normal for us to see violence with women in our home. Violence does not always have to be physical, because violence is also mental. Emphasize your memory and think about when was the last time your father shouted at your mother. Your answer will be – maybe tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, maybe a day before that. If you do not remember, perhaps your family is away from the rot of this Indian society. Sometimes there is a lot of salt in the lentils, sometimes there is no reason for not getting something on time. If there is a quarrel between the partners and the husband gets irritated over something, then he also has the ability to strike his wife’s chest. In such a situation a woman once contemplated divorce, but she is not financially self-reliant, what will happen to her children. Thinking of this, she tries to make a raw banana vegetable for her husband by applying ointment on the chest lying on her chest. This is because, due to the quarrel, food is not prepared in the house and after eating the food, it is also the responsibility of the woman to convince everyone to feed them. Amidst all this, she forgets her chest pain. Sometimes in case of pain arises, buy the medicine of pain pills from the side grocery store. The social network is woven around her so much that the woman feels as if she was arguing. Seeing the accumulation of dust on the chest of the woman, the layer of dust lying on her PhD degree is gradually becoming thick. The woman forgets that she used to make girls aware of the issue of domestic violence. The police used to make rounds of the station to solve such cases. Her album still has a photo in which she has a plank in her hand – will not bear domestic violence.
How many times does a woman hear taunts from her family, from her partner for the birth of daughters. Even listening to the taunts, she kept rolling the bread in the kitchen quietly. He never turned back and asked, did I have these daughters alone. When the husband threatened to remove her from the house, she pleaded not to be removed from her husband. Never once did she turn back and say, my MA degree will be supported by me. When the woman dialed her home in case of violence, the parents gave the same advice – the woman has to suffer so much. The woman is 48 years old and bearable.
These stories can be from your home or maybe from my home. This is not my prediction or bias. The figures also confirm this. According to the National Family Health Survey, violence occurs with every third woman in India, read once again – every third woman. Why do women seem to be pleading instead of reporting him when violence occurs. Why is it that women feel that domestic violence is their fiefdom? One report states that 75 per cent of domestic violence cases go unreported. Here comes the dominance of men. You must have heard this line many times – women are the shoes of men and do not wear shoes on the head. In our society, it has been accepted that women should be controlled by two slaps.
Who gave the men the right to beat, how can they raise their hands on their spouse? Taapsee Pannu and Anubhav Sinha’s new film- Slap is seen asking the same question.
In our society, power has been in the hands of men from the beginning. They have considered women as part of their power. Keeping women under control means keeping them away from their basic freedom. To confuse them in such a way that if slapped, then it will be their fault. If women, after eating a slap, turn back and ask that you cannot slap me, not even a slap. In such a situation, the wall of power of the man will start to crack, his ego will be small because he sees his mother beating, seeing his sister coming from the in-laws and therefore he justifies violence with his wife. If a woman dares to report the violence that has happened to her, then instead of supporting her, everyone advises her to keep quiet, advocating reconciliation. It is said that men come out and vent their anger on their wife. Here men should not leave any room for escape.
Our not only family but judicial structure also looks so masculine. Until a woman is burnt to death in domestic violence, such matters go unnoticed. Whereas it needs to be noted that the burning of a woman starts with a slap and a few taunts. But we have sent our women before marriage, saying that we should bear a little. Instead of seeing domestic violence as a crime, our judicial system wants to defuse it by calling it a mutual matter of home.
Women are always instructed not to report violence. Our social system is such that instead of preventing violence, it promotes keeping silent on violence. There will be some reason why 75 percent of the women remain silent about the violence happening with them. Instead of accepting domestic violence as a crime, it is concealed in such a corner of the house where no one can see it. Even though domestic violence is a crime, it is still considered a matter of home, husband and wife. Trying to avoid saying this. Whereas the biggest and necessary step against domestic violence is to report it. The National Family Health Survey states that women are reluctant to report against domestic violence even after a serious injury. Only 1.5 percent of women can muster the courage to go to the police station against domestic violence
After all, why should we give men the space in which they can take up violence with us. Why should we keep silent till we are half dead, why not ask the slap again and again as the heroine of slap – why hit, cannot kill.